Monologue en anglais! aide!

vavacheval a écrit le 20/03/2011 à 16h33: Bonjour, voilà, j'ai encore un monologue en anglais à faire, je dois décrire mon film préféré. Mais je ne suis pas sure du tout de ce que j'ai écris.. si des personnes veulent tenter de me corriger! Merci! The tittle of the film movie I have chosen is "Avatar", it's an action movie. Avatar was released the sixteen of december, two thousand nine. John Landau produced this film, and James Cameron, directed it, and wrotethe script. The main character is played by Sam Worthington and his name in the film is Jake Sully. The film deals with a man, Jake Sully, who is a warrior, and he has to go on a country, "Pandora", for a mission of infiltration , because the inhabitants of Pandora, are an obstacle for their project.. But Jake, becomes friend with the inhabitants, because a girl "Neytiri", saves his life So he is then going to lead the battle with them. I liked this movie because the story is very interesting and the many specials effects are very nice! That's why it's my favourite film. Alors ?

J'ai regarde rapidement, ya peut etre encore 2/3 erreurs, mais dans l'ensemble c'est pas mal

Merci pour la correction :)

Pandora is a planet, not a country.

tibug a écrit le 20/03/2011 à 16h51: Pandora is a planet, not a country.

Ah oui!! Merci

Sinon pour la date on dirait plutôt December 16th, de façon plus naturelle.


Et sur le fond, Avatar film d'action c'est très réducteur, mais bon vu que c'est pour un devoir d'anglais, je suppose que c'est la forme qu'on te demande avant tout.

tibug a écrit le 20/03/2011 à 17h03: Sinon pour la date on dirait plutôt December 16th, de façon plus naturelle. Et sur le fond, Avatar film d'action c'est très réducteur, mais bon vu que c'est pour un devoir d'anglais, je suppose que c'est la forme qu'on te demande avant tout.

tu devrais faire plus attention à l'emploi des virgules , tu en mets trop et les disperses un peu n'importe où ce qui fait que lorsqu'on lit le texte , les phrases sont coupées trop souvent et au mauvais moment .

voici le texte où j'ai enlevé certaines virgules + quelques petites modifications que je ferai :

The tittle of the film I have chosen is "Avatar", it's an action movie. Avatar is released the sixteen december two thousand nine.

John Landau has produced this film, and James Cameron has directed it and has written the script .
The main character is played by Sam Worthington and his name in the film is Jake Sully.

The film deals about a man, Jake Sully .He is a warrior and he has to go on a country, "Pandora", for a mission of infiltration because the inhabitants of Pandora are an obstacle for their project.. But Jake, become friend with the inhabitants because a girl "Neytiri", save jake's life!
So he is then going to lead the battle with them.

I liked a lot this film because the story is very interesting and the many specials effects are very nice!
That's why it's my favourite film.



PS : reprenez moi si je me trompe , je ne suis pas une boss en anglais .

Ah en relisant aussi un point : il manque une phrase d'explication, tu dis "are an obstacle to their project", mais ton "their" renvoie à rien, le seul pluriel avant c'est les habitants de Pandora, ce qui fait que ta phrase a pas de sens.

J'ai retouché ton texte... après fais comme tu veux. Fais gaffe, on ne mets JAMAIS de it's or they're dans un papier "académique". Evite aussi les longues phrases, tu as de la peine a concorder les temps et on s'y perds

vavacheval a écrit le 20/03/2011 à 16h33: The titel of the film I have chosen is "Avatar", it's an action movie. Avatar is released the sixteen december, two thousand nine. The film I have chosen is Avatar, an action movie, released the 16th of December 2009. ( un mois a toujours une majuscule en anglais, et c'est moche d'écrire une date. ) John Landau has produced this film, and James Cameron, has directed it, and he has written the script. The film was produced by John Landau, directed and written by James Cameron. The main character is played by Sam Worthington and his name in the film is Jake Sully. The film deals about a man, Jake Sully, he is a warrior, and he has to go on a country, "Pandora", for a mission of infiltration , because the inhabitants of Pandora, are an obstacle for their project.. But Jake, become friend with the inhabitants, because a girl "Neytiri", save the life of Jake! So he is then going to lead the battle with them. The main character, Jake Sully, is a soldier ( warrior c'est pas bon pour l'utilité que tu veux lui donner dans se cas) and he has to go to Pandora for an infiltration mission. The inhabitants of Pandora are an obstacle to their project and instead of eradicating them, he becomes their friend after Neytiri, a girl, saves his life. He is going to lead the battle ( quelle bataille, faudrait préciser ) I liked a lot this film because the story is very interesting and the many specials effects are very nice! That's why it's my favourite film. I liked this movie a lot because the story is very interesting and contains nice special effects! This is why it is my favorite film. Alors ?

Je précise que je le récite à l'oral merci à tous!

Dans la première phrase, c'est un détail, mais je supprimerais le " it's"

... Avatar, an action movie.
C'est plus fluide.