Exposé en anglais

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Isardr

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Exposé en anglais
Posté le 19/12/2012 à 19h48

Bonsoir,

J'ai un exposé à faire en anglais et j'aimerais que quelqu'un corrige mon texte s'il vous plait. Donc les forts en anglais, aidez moi s'il vous plait (surtout que la prof ne m'aime pas donc je dois limiter les fautes un gros gros max)



He was born in November, 22 1986 in South Africa. He is an international runner. His nickname is “The Blade Runner”. He was born without fibula. He was amputated of the two legs when he was eleven months. He has two carbon prostheses.

He is the first amputated athlete who competed in a world championship for valid champions. He his the first handisport medalist. He has the record of the world at the handisport championship for 100 meters, 200 meters and 400 meters. He claims to be “The thing the most fast without legs”. In January, 14 2008, the International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) makes a report against Oscar Pistorius because the IAAF thinks his carbon prostheses give him an advantage on the valid champions. So he can't participate at the competitions organised by the IAAF. He can prove that his prostheses are not an advantage so he can participate at the Beijing Olympic Games but he fails to qualification.

In July, 4 2012 he has the first amputated athlete who participated at Olympic Games. During the Paralympic Games in London, he broke the record of the world at the 200 meters in 21,30 seconds.

Until today, he won 11 medals : 6 gold medals, 4 silver medals and 1 bronze medal. He won his first medal in the Paralympic Games at Athens.

He participate at Nike commercials.



Merci à vous

Quaroyca

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Exposé en anglais
Posté le 19/12/2012 à 20h03

Moi je trouve ça bien ! Et j'ai pas vu de grosses grosses fautes !

Mo56

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Exposé en anglais
Posté le 19/12/2012 à 20h08

Le "s" de la troisième personne dans la dernière phrase.

Khyroko

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Exposé en anglais
Posté le 19/12/2012 à 20h13


isardr a écrit le 19/12/2012 à 19h48:
Bonsoir,

J'ai un exposé à faire en anglais et j'aimerais que quelqu'un corrige mon texte s'il vous plait. Donc les forts en anglais, aidez moi s'il vous plait (surtout que la prof ne m'aime pas donc je dois limiter les fautes un gros gros max)



He was born in November, 22 1986 in South Africa. He is an international runner. His nickname is “The Blade Runner”. He was born without fibula. He was amputated of the two legs when he was eleven months. Today, he has two carbon prostheses.

He is the first amputated athlete who competed in a world championship for valid champions. He his the first handisport medalist. He has the record of the world at the handisport championship for 100 meters, 200 meters and 400 meters. He claims to be “The fastest thing without legs”. In January, 14 2008, the International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) makes a report against Oscar Pistorius because the IAAF thinks his carbon prostheses give him an advantage on the valid champions. So he can't participate at the competitions organised by the IAAF. It has been shown that his prostheses are not an advantage so he was able to participate at the Beijing Olympic Games but he failed to qualification.

In July, 4 2012 he was the first amputated athlete who participated at Olympic Games. During the Paralympic Games in London, he broke the world's record at the 200 meters in 21,30 seconds.

Until today, he won 11 medals : 6 gold medals, 4 silver medals and 1 bronze medal. He won his first medal in the Paralympic Games at Athens.

He participates at Nike commercials.



Merci à vous


Voilà grossomodo... Tu devrais essayer d'utiliser des "link word" mots de liaison pour aérer et lier tes phrases parce que c'est un peu lourd les "He was" a répétition ! Et c'est toujours apprécié par les profs :

- However = cependant
- That's the reason why : c'est la raison pourquoi/pour laquelle
- ... whereas/while ... : ... alors que ...
- Moreover : de plus
- Thank's to / due to : grâce à ...

J'suis pas bilingue d'autres t'aideront mieux que moi !

Edité par khyroko le 19-12-2012 à 20h14



Isardr

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Exposé en anglais
Posté le 19/12/2012 à 20h17

Merci

Fairyfarm

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Exposé en anglais
Posté le 20/12/2012 à 10h22


isardr a écrit le 19/12/2012 à 19h48:



He was born in November, 22 1986 in South Africa. He is an international runner. His nickname is “The Blade Runner”. He was born without fibula so he was amputated of the two legs when he was eleven months. He has two carbon prostheses.

He is the first amputated athlete who competed in a world championship for valid champions. He his the first handisport medalist. He has the record of the world at the handisport championship for 100 meters, 200 meters and 400 meters. He claims to be “The thing the most fast without legs”. In January, 14 2008, the International Association of Athletics Federation (IAAF) makes a report against Oscar Pistorius because the IAAF thinks his carbon prostheses give him an advantage on the valid champions. So he can't participate at the competitions organised by the IAAF. He can prove that his prostheses are not an advantage so he can participate at the Beijing Olympic Games but he fails to qualification.

In July, 4 2012 he has beenthe first amputated athlete who participated at Olympic Games. During the Paralympic Games in London, he broke the record of the world at the 200 meters in 21,30 seconds.

Until today, he won 11 medals : 6 gold medals, 4 silver medals and 1 bronze medal. He won his first medal in the Paralympic Games at Athens.

He participate at Nike commercials.



Merci à vous


voilà en plus de tout ce qui a été dit.

raison d'édition : oubli de phrase !

Edité par fairyfarm le 20-12-2012 à 10h23



Exposé en anglais
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